Mac-Attack is BACK: October 2006

For your sake

Yokay, I recently wrote a blog about my views on music and have had a lot and I mean A LOT of negative views on it... For those who left comments no I'm not only talking about you as I have recieved quite a few "views" on this blog. For those who told me how they thought about music congrats, you're as opinionative as I am. As for those who were more threatoning and ruder about this blog I would just like to write this short blog to say that I'm sorry that I may have offended your emo or screamo but at the same time let me just say that this is a BLOG!!!! It's MY opinions on what the world looks like. I never say that I'm right and you're wrong! Actually I've always considered myself as quite an idiot so if you don't like what I think just don't read it! you don't have to go around rubbing it in my face and insulting or abusing me. Also remember that I spent 6 years hidding upstairs in my house from the people in my town who wanted to see my head on a platter so if I just so happen to think a little differently than you then I'm sorry but I can't help that because I'm myself! not a clone of you so don't expect me to be like you. Well yet again I'm sorry if I offended anyone but at the same time you asked for it!

Coming Soon to Myspace

Just a little note to anyone who actually reads this blog. I'll soon be putting a new movie on my myspace www.myspace.com/macattackproductions it is called le gamin du ping pong (The Ping-Pong Kid.... A.K.A. The Karate Kid's father's roomate's brother's cat's previous owner's grandson's cousin twice removed) and is the most recent movie I have worked on with my good friend Infinitively Irrational. I make no promises on when it's going to be on there as it depends on how quickly I can size it down. What I can promise you is that it's going to be in at least 6 parts.. maybe more. Well all for now.

Challenge to the week

Personally I think that music is one of the most powerful man made weapons out there... it can make a bouncer take up knitting, and make a nerd win a war. It can be used to hurt or to help people. It can excite, upset, and even anger people. Yet we can't imagine the world without it. The scary thing is that if back in the day chaupan was the same as KISS is today then imagine how fast we must be falling! Music is at a lack of talent as it is! Imagine what kind of a disgrace of music we'll be listening to in a generation or two!!!!! It's scary when you think about it! if you don't believe me when I speak of the power in music try this. Go onto mypictures (My appologies to all mac users but PC'S are all I've ever used so I don't know how well this will work for you) Aaaaaaaaaaanyways, also open Realplayer, or windows media player, or your cd player, or a record player but have different kinds of music playing WHILE watching the picture slideshow. You'd freak out at how much the background music affects your view of what it must of been like. You can make everyone at a party look like they're crying or make a bunch of Goths look like circus clowns. Well Try it out and tell me how it works out... please.... I like reading comments..... PLEASE COMMENT ON THIS SITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The TRUE Narnia script-- Back by popular request

The Chronicles of Narnia
True Script

- ominous clouds
- a distant rumble as Harry Gregson Williams sweeping score begins
- search lights roll across the sky
- suddenly as the rolling beat begins in three three time German bombers pierce through the clouds
- the camera panes back to reveal us the audience inside one of the said bombers
- two German soldiers converse fluently in an unintelligible language
- see that house down there?
- which?
- the one with the ugly kid in the window
- Oh that one
- Yeah let’s drop a bomb on it!!!
- they proceed to do so
- meanwhile we find ourselves with the ugly kid who turns out to be Edmund Pevensie of Finchley
- Mrs. Pevensie enters
- Edmund stop that!
- If the bombers see you we're done for!!!!
- She jerks Edmund from the window
- Peter Peter quickly
- Peter rushes in and grabs Edmund
- Stop it you idiot you know your not half as good looking as me get out of here
- the audience doesn't want to look at you anyway
- he drags Edmund out of the room and Mrs. Pevensie hurries after them
- Lucy lying in bed because she was bad and had to go to bed early cries
- suddenly Susan enters and calmly starts looking for her nail clippers
- Susan!!!!
- Lucy squel
- squeals
- Susan for the first time alarmed drags her from her bed
- Lucy come on this is no time to sleep!
- I have a hitch on my nail and I can't find my nail clippers help Me!!!
- Once the two have successfully located said nail clippers all the members of the family rush from the house
- Wait I deserve more screen time!!! Edmund cries spinning and rushing back towards the house
- Ed!!! NO!!!! Peter cries desperately trying to restrain him. He has the awful feeling he's going to get second billing
- but it's too late
- Edmund is already gone
- not dead mind you just gone back into the house
- Edmund Peter NOOOOOO!!!!
- Mrs. Pevensie cries
- they were the ones she was counting on to support her in her old age
- but they are already in the house
- Look at me look at me!!! Edmund cries jumping wildly in front of the camera
- Edmund get down! Peter snaps knocking him to the floor and smiling for the camera
- Come on you idiot you have to earn Screen time!!! Peter raves dragging him from the room and back to the shelter.
- Why can't you think about anyone but yourself? Peter fumes
- Don't you think we'd all like a leading role
- You don't have to risk your life and mine for it!!!
- Stop it Mrs. Pevensie protests in her best sickeningly sweet voice
- To Edmund she says soothingly its okay you'll get your star on the Hollywood walk of fame someday
- Why can't you just realize that I'm the star of the show Peter demands ruefully before slamming the door on his toes
- Fade to black as Peter hops around on one foot yelling
- Edmunds laughing too
- pickadilly station day
- very very crowded
- yet more of Harry Gregson Williams sweeping score
- only not so sweeping
- to be frank it's a piano solo
- Now dear you have to keep this... Mrs. Pevensie begins and then realizes Lucy isn't there
- Where's Lucy? she cries
- they all suddenly realize she is being trampled by the pressing crowd
- Once they have rescued Lucy and dusted her off Mrs. Pevensie proceeds to pin on her tag
- Why must I wear this Mum? Lucy complains it is so cramping my style
- Because her mother returns firmly If you don't wear it you may be sent to the wrong person who could be a murderer and he'll poison your tea and bury you in his rose garden and no one will be the wiser
- Lucy: Oh
- If Dad were here he'd let me be the star Edmund grumbles still not quite recovered from the other night
- No a chance I'm older, better, looking, smarter and capable of memorizing more lines
- Peter protests scoffingly
- Therefore I get to be the lead
- You will try to listen to you brother won't you dear Mrs. Pevensie pleads
- After in a few years you can play the lead in the Voyage of the Dawn Treader Peter isn't in that one
- Edmund looks away finding this small comfort
- Peter dear you will look after the other won't you His mother asks
- Sure thing Mum don't worry about a thing I've got it all under control!! Peter exclaims with confidence
- It does mean I can make them eat cod liver oil and spank them every night right?
- No
- Oh Peter mumbles with regret I'll try mum
- Good man she whispers softly
- Susan be a big girl
- Mother! Susan protests I'm fifteen I'm well able to take care of myself you don't have to say be a big girl!!
- Mrs. Pevensie wipes her eyes and shaking her head comments where does the time fly.
- Well off you go
- right Peter says and the three older children proceed to load Lucy down with their luggage
- Peter directs her through the crowd
- Peter sees some soldiers in the crowd
- Look as those suckers he comments to Susan Sure am glad I'm not one of them going to my death
- death
- Peter Susan gasps in horror
- as they near the train Lucy stumbles and nearly drops the suitcases
- come one Lucy Peter complains surely you can carry a little bit of luggage and stay close I don't want you getting separated and then we have none of our things
- I still think I should get to be the lead Edmund comments to Susan but she ignores him
- Soon they are all waving out the window
- Goodbye Mum see you soon mum....Mum....Mum?
- But she has already gone home to book some spa treatments
- the children pull back into the train letting down the window too quickly shutting it on Edmund's head
- The credits begin to roll as the train pulls out of the station with Edmund's head stuck out of the window his arms flailing wildly
- fade to black as Lisbeth Scott begins to sing an unintelligible extremely unique song quite different from anything we have heard from Harry Gregson Williams so far
the children take mercy and release Edmund
- they move down the corridor and enter a small compartment
- get lost an irritable child protests these seats are already taken
- too bad Peter informs him we're sitting here whether you like it or not
- Oh yeah who says so the child protests
- I do and I am the dashing lead so take that Peter sticks out his tongue
- Weeeelllll you do have a point the boy concedes they enter and try to put up their luggage.
- Let me get that for you Lucy
- Peter offers trying to hoist her bag up for her it promptly slips and beans her on the head
- Ooops sorry Lu
- I'll do it Edmund snaps picking it up and putting on the rack
- Peter glares at him I'm supposed to be the lead
- Well you’re doing a terrible job so too bad Edmund snaps
- Soon they are on their way Lisbeth Scott continues to sing that very strange song only now she is joined by several mysterious and helpful "back up singers" the worst job in Hollywood
- Yes Skandar even worse than being Edmund
- Suddenly Edmund screams and jumps on Peter
- What is it?
- The hills are alive with Edmund sings loudly
- With the words "the chronicles of Narnia the lion the witch and the wardrobe"
- Really? Peter asks
- Yes, Edmund confirms it's even in nice scrolly letters and coloured gold
- Well what do you know
- Peter comments but I say get off me it wouldn't do for the leads clothes to be rumples
- rumpled
- Edmund begins to resent Peter
- Soon they reach Goosey station and the crabby boy and his sister leave swiping (in case none of you ever noticed) Lucy's stuffed dog.
- Lucy takes this remarkably calmly but that is understandable when one considers it is only a prop.
- Edmund peeks out the window and spies the two children being led away
- Come one kids its time you learned the meaning of hard work their new caretakers say
- and if theirs any complaining a hundred strokes with the belt and nothing but moldy bread for the remainder of the visit
- Edmund looks faintly disturbed
- What if....he begins
- Don't think about it Ed....Peter protests clenching his jaw We'll be fine. The first glint of brotherly over protectiveness rears its ugly head and glints in his eye
- Susan Lucy and Edmund look collectively alarmed
- The train continues deeper into the heart of the country and Lisbeth Scott and her poor minions continue to sing
- hey can you please give it a rest Edmund yells
- You’re kinda getting on my nerves
- Sorry kid but I can't Lisbeth Scott protests momentarily breaking her serenade It's in the score and if I don't do it Andrew Adamson (who is a very controlling director) will have a fit
- the music proceeds and the children all groan in agony
- Finally she stops when their journey is ended and then it doesn't really matter anymore.
- They are standing on a very rickety platform which they promptly fall through as soon as the train pulls away
- Andrew Adamson off screen: Woops sorry guys that wasn't supposed to happen just go with it
- The children climb out of the rubble and walk over to the road
- A car slows down as it nears them but upon observing their present condition the driver quickly speeds past again
- Now thanks to inferior set people the professor has left us stranded Susan complains
- Roger Ford off-screen: Hey that's a perfectly good set
- Maybe poor old mother was so thrilled with the idea of getting rid of us all that she got the labels mixed up Edmund offers
- I betcha anything these are the old butcher's tags from the roast the other night
- the children look around fearfully certain that a butcher at any moment will appear and mistaken them for a choice cut
- fortunately the sound of a cart drawing near breaks the tension and an extremely fat pony waddles into view
- a thin severe woman brandishing a bull whip sits on the seat
- she glares at the children
- Please don't tell me you’re the Pevensies she exclaims
- yes mum
- peter confirms
- don't call me mum call me Mrs. mccready
- yes Mrs. Mcready Peter parrots
- and you...you can't be a sorry excuse for a lead!!!
- Peter looks put out
- Edmund smirks and grins and Mrs. Mcready
- Mrs. Mcready (who disapproves of children) flicks him with her whip
- Edmund stops smiling
- Well is this it then she continues haven't you brought anything else like money or a gift for your host!!!
- No mum...I mean Mrs. Mcready Peter stutters mentally kicking himself There's just us
- Well this will be one of the biggest favors the Professor has ever undertaken Mrs. Mcready muses a sorrier lot of waifs I've never seen
- The children began to feel self conscious
- well as long as your here I might as well take you back
- the butcher's right behind me
wimperingwolf: HAR HAR HAR
- The children nearly kill themselves trying to get into the buggy
- Mrs. Mcready brandishes her whip and the enormously fat pony rolls down the hill.
- fade to black as the children scream as the whole thing starts to roll down the hill with the fat pony like a giant snow ball
- Mrs. Mcready drove the enormously fat horse up to a huge rambling mansion
- the children instantly began to think of ways that they could wreak havoc upon it
- However, Mrs. Mcready who seemed to have prepared for this began to outline all the things they mustn’t do.
- You must not swing on the curtains tap dance on the tables jump into the dumbwaiter (any sensible person knows you must never jump into a dumb waiter...you could break your legs off!!!)
- Susan seized hold of a marble statue and prepared to dispose of it on the floor
- NO breakin of the historical artifacts!!!! Mrs. Mcready screamed ripping it out of her hands
- and above all there shall be no playing cricket near the house so that the ball flys through a window knocks over a suit of armour and you get into a great deal of trouble (unless of course we chase you into a magical land in the upstairs wardrobe)
- got it the children promised
- then follow me Mrs. Mcready instructs
- Andrew Adamson offscreen: WAIT WAIT!!!! What about the professor
- Mrs. Mcready: Oh right sorry don't disturb the professor eh?
- Oh yeah sure the children add they leave the room
- Lucy hesitates I would never do those other things she muses but I would love to disturb the professor
- Suddenly the professor's feet can be seen under the door crack!
- EEEEKKK Lucy screams for of course we all know she has a terrible phobia of feet and rushes out of the room
- Later that night the children are in the girls room listening to the radio
- German aircraft blue up the Pevensie home in Finchley the Announcer says
- The children feel faintly depressed.
- the sheets feel scratchy Lucy complains from her bed
- For goodness sake Lucy Susan protests that's not the sheets that's the steel wool the professor was using to refinish the bed
- Oh Lucy says in a brighter tone tossing aside the steel wool
- besides Susan adds movies don't last forever and before you know it the scene will be done and you can get out of bed and go home
- that's true Lucy admits
- But homes not there didn't you hear the announcer Edmund protests
- Hey shouldn't you be in bed? Susan says Andrew isn't he supposed to be in bed?
- Andrew Adamson offscreen consulting script: uhhhhh no
- na na na na na Edmund smirks
- Susan slugs him
- Don't hit me he protests your not mum!!!
- Ed!!! Peter interupts your hogging may too much screen time now just shut up and let the audience look at me
- Edmund looks away feeling yet more resentment
- Peter then turns to Lucy and says in a gentler tone Don't worry Lu it will definately not be raining tomorrow and we will definately not have to resort to playing hide and seek and you will definately not stumble upon a magical wardrobe so cheer up
- Lucy smiles and Andrew Adamson cues the special effects guy for a clap of thunder
- Clap of Thunder: BOOM
- It is now the next day and the children are all sitting in a parlour looking bored.
- Susan has a huge dictionary
- Gas...tro....vascular
- come on Peter this is like the simplest word what does it mean
- Peter looks blank and mumbles uhhhhhh
- Edmund pipes up gastrovascular: having both a digestive and circulatory function. Used especially to describe the body cavity of a coelenterate.
- They all stare
- Edmund smirks Told you I should have been the lead
- Peter glowers
- Well now you have totally ruined my game that was the like the trickiest word I could find thanks Edmund Susan pouts slamming the book and squashing her finger the boys laugh
- Now what are we going to do? Peter asks
- Well Mr. Its-definatly-not-going-to-rain how about a game of hide and seek Lucy asks
- Peter begans to wonder about his role as the lead Edmund says snarkily only babies who want to shut themselves up in wardrobes and discover magical lands want to play hide and seek
- besides we're already having fun watching Susan smush her fingers flat Peter adds enthusiasticlly
- Susan glowers
- Come on Peter please Lucy begs
- he rolls his eyes and groans
- Pretty please she says between gritted teeth as she twists his arm behind his back
- alright I'll play I'll play Peter gasps one...two...three
- Susan and Edmund take off before Lucy has time to get near them
- The annoying Andrew's sisters (who are not related to Andrew Adamson) begin their seranade as they run around the house
- (the children that is not the Andrews sisters)
- Not very helpful to hiding considering they're singing everywhere someone is hiding and don't think Peter isn't listening
- Lucy sees an alcove covered by a curtain and runs for it (Like Peter would never look there)
- Edmund rushes up beside her and body checks her across the room
- Beat it squirt he yells I'm bigger'n you and I'm gonna hide her
- e
- Lucy picks herself off the floor glares and Edmund and runs into the wardrobe room
- Oh my, Lucy exclaims a big white blob how captivating
- Suddenly a big fly lands on her nose. Lucy screams and swatts it. The fly flies (LOL) dying over to the window sill and...Well...dies. Lucy glances at the camera and raises and inquiring eyebrow
- Thankfully by this point the Andrew sisters have stopped their tyrade and One again HGW (Harry Gregson Williams) score sets the scene
- Oh well, Lucy decides I might as well look at what's under that dust sheet cause if I don't I have the sneaking feeling this story won't have much plot
- Lucy promptly pulls down the sheet and get blanketed (no pun intended) in dust
- Once Lucy has successfully coughed up a lung she glances up at the wardrobe and tries the door
- Uh Andrew it's locked
- Moments pause and then nameless crewman hurries forward and unlocks door
- Lucy proceeds to open the door out falls three dead moths
- eeeeewwwww Lucy complains
- however despite the dust the moths and the musty fur coats inside the wardrobe she still for some inexplicable reason wants to go inside
- It'll be the best place in the world to hide! Lucy plots after all if he does happen upon this room and seems a wardrobe with the dust cover just recently taken off and the door partially open he'll never look to think inside.
- Therefore using her incredible logic Lucy hops inside the wardrobe and proceeds to back up
- She keeps backing up and backing up
- How deep is this wardrobe she wonders it must be the shape of a banana
- Suddenly she hits her hand against something sharp and prickly
- The audience is left with abated breath wondering what will happen next
- Well Lucy complains whoever was using hairspray when they wore this coat sure went over board it's positively stiff
- however once she turns around to get a closer look she realizes that she is standing in a wood and has touched a tree (did any of you not see that coming?)
- Lucy who seems to have stumbled into wardrobes with magical countries in them everyday of her life decides to explore
- After all Lucy observes it just a snowy wood in the evening potentially populated by dangerous hungry beasts what could possibly go wrong
- She moves forwards in complete confidence knowing that if she should be persued she can always escape by running back to the wardrobe
- suddenly she comes into a clearing with a....dun dun dun dun...lamppost in the middle of it.
- Ludy reaches out a touches the lamppost promplty getting her fingers frozen to it
- Oh dear Lucy complains that's all I need
- Suddenly there is a crunching in the forest Lucy tugs desperatly on her fingers
- more crunching more tugging more crunching more tugging
- Suddenly a faun (if you want a description read the book) walks into the clearing Lucy screams rips her fingers off the lamppost and jumps behind it.
- the faun who is very clumsy drops every single one of his parcels and jumps behind a tree.
- More of HGW score
- Lucy after observing half her fingers still stuck to the lamppost comes out into the open and starts picking up the fauns parcels with her stumpy hands
- If he doesn't want them I might as well cash in she decides
- Now just a minute the fuan declares haughtily those are mine thank you very much
- He snatches them from her
- Well aren't you rude Lucy protests you...you...what are you anyway?
- Well I'm a faun you idiot you returns mockingly judging by your lack of brains you must be a dwarf
- I'm not a dwarf Lucy protests
- A chipmunk? the fuan offers
- I'm a girl!
- An evil glint which lucy somehow manages to miss glints in the fauns eyes
- A girl he breathes evily
- yes of course you nice honest chap Lucy returns warmly
- the faun glances at the camera and raises an eyebrow Einstein she ain't
- you mean to say that your a daughter of Eve? he quiries in the same awful voice
- My mum's name is Helen not Eve Lucy protests
- yes you ninny but you are human aren't you?
- yes of course I'm human it's as plain as the nose on your...oh my goodness what's the matter with your nose!!! and hang on you've got horns and funny ears and.....AGHHHH goats legs
- Lucy suddenly remembers what a faun is and is greatly disturbed
- The fuan is slightly offended he always thought his nose and ears and horns and goats legs were nicer than the average fauns
- Well, he says rudely what is an ignorant child like you doing in my lovely wood?
- Well you foolish nerd I was hiding in the wardrobe in the spare room and
- Spare Oom (fauns don't have very good hearing) the fuan interuppted is that in Narnia
- For a minute Lucy does not respond becuase she is so put out at being interuppted but finally her prompter remind her and she adds hastily Narnia what's that
- I didn't know anyone could be so uninformed Mr. Tumnus marvels a theif human and uneducated. This you flunker of geography is Narnia. Your in it right now. Everything from the lamppost which stil bears you fingers....eeewww....that's disgusting
- All the way to castle cair paravel on the eastern sea all that lovely snow and ice is narnia
- Oh Lucy said nonchalantly we have grass where i come from
- Mr. Tumnus prepares to brain Lucy with his umbrella but Andrew Adamson calls out Cut from offscreen
- Andrew Adamson offscreen: okay guys hang on your actually supposed to like each other you supposed to be friends now come on be nice
- Mr. Tumnus between gritted teeth mutters Please allow me dear SWEET child to introduce my self my name is Tumnus
- Lucy in the same voice returns Well that's a very stupid name Mr. Tumnus but I'm still pleased to meet you
- By the way before you ask because I'm sure someone like you probably wouldn't know you shake my hand when I offer it to you
- I will do nothing of the sort Mr. Tumnus protests in disgust remember child your hands all stumpy if however you agree to come to tea with me I will attend to you hand
- Well I don't know Lucy mused the other will cream me if i go to tea without them
- But I have toast....
- I don't like toast
- Well I have tea....
- I don't like tea
- ummmm cakes?
- too fattening?
- Your a little girl why do you need to worry about fattening Mr. Tumnus protests
- I'm an actress Lucy shrugs what can I say
- Well at any rate Mr. Tumnus exclaims pulling out his last card I have sardines
- Lucy: Yuck
- Well child Tumnus glowers you have to come regardless because it's in the script to stop complaining pick up that last package and come on
- Lucy turns to Andrew Must I
- Andrew Adamson shrugs that's waht we pay you for
- well i'll come for a bit if you can find something better than the things you've outlined Lucy offers
- I'll think of something like a nice trip to the witch’s castle Tumnus mutters under his breathe
- the two glowering at each other disappear into the trees

More soon to come

Only in Canada can you write a log about a log that got lodged in your lodge.

do people leave thousand dollar cars out in their driveways yet lock their useless trash in the garage.

Do you hear health reports about Obesity and anarexia in the same article.

Do people spend millions of dollars for a line drawn on a sheet of paper.

Do people buy a HUGE SUV so that they're 4"5 teenage daughter can drive for about 10 minutes a day

Do people get a new girlfriend(or boyfriend depending) for every little event

Do people worship a totally rich brat who does nothing but drink, party, and star in movies

can you visit 20 countries by going out to your front lawn

do people work extra hours just so that they can buy something that can make their lives easier

More to come

Mac-Attack is BACK

Friday, October 27, 2006

For your sake

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Coming Soon to Myspace

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Challenge to the week

Friday, October 20, 2006

The TRUE Narnia script-- Back by popular request

Thursday, October 19, 2006

More soon to come

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